Fine I will agree

Posted on Sun Mar 20th, 2022 @ 7:37pm by Captain Xavier Carey & Commander Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels

Mission: Free write
Location: Captains Ready Room
Timeline: Before session 1

Xavier sat in his office going over the comings and goings of the previous shift, nothing really was happening, with being on leave technically, although the crew was needed on duty, it was a more relaxed atmosphere. Music was playing on the bridge, and there was an impromptu mini soccer game going on in front of the captains chair. Sure it was unheard of. He wasn't going to reprimand. Especially being the one who initiated it.

When Tony came onto the bridge she blinked at the state of things. As she did not have that much command experience she did not know what was common but this certainly did not seem to be it. Music and junior officers kicking a ball around which at that moment landed just before her feet.

She stared at the bridge officers who seemed to have hushed by her appearance on the bridge, not being familiar her with her yet. "Soooo." She drawled out in her mother's southern american accent. "Is this normal ladies and gentlemen? Playing football on the bridge of a starship?"

"The Captain started it." Ensign Element looked from the goal keep.

"Really now?" She still kept her face very still. "And is he any good? We've all seen that you can't aim a ball for the life of you." With one quick movement she shot the ball squarely in the goal. "I suggest you keep up your practice while I visit the captain. Carry on!"

Element raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps we need to organize a game. Senior officers vs the juniors." She replied as she got the ball and kicked it over to her team mate.

"You are on." Tony grinned. Her father was Dutch and was a big football fan who had tought his children how to play.

She entered the captains office. "Morning sir."

"Morning Commander." He replied as he looked up and placed the pad down. "Dont mind them, the soccer... football season is starting today, so i thought i'd let the crew get in on some action. We aren't on mission, have nothing really to do, they are within proximity of their stations should the need arrise."

"You are the captain, sir." Tony said her face still giving nothing away. "I am here for that talk we spoke about yesterday. Maybe we could schedule it? I don't want to wait too long to get it out of the way."

"There is nothing on the time table until we get to the starbase. Now is as good as time as any. Your opinion on everything is appreciated."

"I just want to touch base with you as your former therapist and make sure you are doing ok." Tony was still standing in front of his desk.

Leaning back. "You have my undivided attention."

Tony was pensive for a little while. "What is the real reason you did not tell Sky about your past?"

"You know me too well, you know that." He replied as he leaned forward, "there are things that deserve to be in the past. have you ever thought about that night. We came close... we admitted things."

"Captain!" Tony flushed. She tought of that night with horror. She had not been a therapist long and Xavier had been a patient that needed a lot of care so they saw a lot of each other and as he got better a real bond had developed. Tony had often talked about it with her supervisor as she had been mortified they had had a drink and then... she had not acted on it and after that had kept the door firmly closed. But that night horrified her. "That night should not have happened. I do again apologize for it. It was very bad therapy on my part. You were my patient and I would never have taken advantage of you."

"We were both adults, and we both decided against it. Nothing to be sorry about. That was probably the last we seen of each other. I do not want that to be affecting us now."

"Neither do I. But it is one of the reaons for me to find out if you are truly alright. Now you said there are things that deserve to be in the past. That is certainly true. But for a therapist these things are important. We need to be sure you have worked through your feelings. You were very shaky for a long time, Xavier."

"Why don't we do a couple of sessions, that way you can determine for yourself."

"Yes that would set my mind at ease. It would be a bit of a hybrid version of therapy. As I can't keep the distance I usually do." Tony warned.

"I don't understand?"

"You know I am very uptight about not having a friendship with my patients. In our case that ship has sailed. So I will have to be very careful to keep some boundaries intact." She explained.

Xavier raised an eyebrow. "Our ship has sailed? There are boundaries, I understand. Tal might not, she would just encourage it." He chuckled. "We are talking friendship, Tony, there is no ship that needs to sail for that." He leaned back. "To be honest. After that last meeting my ship was due for a deep space assignment for two years, which took us out several more after that. We were declared missing up until six months ago. I felt guilty not reaching out like I had promised when I returned."

"That must have been hard on you as well. A tough assignment for you again." Tony watched him.

He thought about it. "We lost almost half the crew, due to a rampant disease that was going through the area of space in Tals time. It wiped out many civilizations. Including hers over 100,000 years ago." He looked over, a model of the wellington by the list of names of the crew they lost during the time stood. "We all know what we sign up for when we do this job Tony. Sometimes that means we lose the ones we love because we choose career over family. Sometimes losing lives to the job."

"Is it really that black and white? And so unemotional?" She just watched him.

Pausing a moment, "The first couple of people, that we lost. We all felt it, we felt the loss. We felt heartache, we felt grief. Once it came to triple digits, it became null. We lost fifty in the span of four days, seventy five in seven. By the time the cure came around we were down over 175 crew, I went from a regular security Officer, to chief. I earned my spot. It did not come easy."

"I don't doubt you earned it. And that at the time you could not afford to feel anymore. But what about later? Did you take time to process instead of turning off your feelings and just getting on with it?"

"We returned six months ago, we were debriefed. Our counselling department were no more by the end of it, everyone buried it. Tal, she was accustomed. She kept my mind off of it, any way she could. Truth be told. When we first got together, it wasn't only me. She is like a child, with no inhibitions, I have tried to control that side of her, she just doesnt understand."

"you are avoidig my question, Xavier." Tony said softly trying to keep him on track. 'We can talk about Talsi later."

"The answer is no I did not."

"Did you work with a therapist." Tony felt so many alarm bells go off.

"I believe you know me enough to know that." Xavier admitted. "My intention was to talk it over wi th the chief counsellor here, but now..."

"So you didn't. And instead of talking you seduced your chief counsellor."

"You know me better than that Tony." Xavier replied. "I don't do anything rash. If I did, I probably would have pursued something with you. It was something we talked about, discussed, although it happened quick, all parties were well aware of what we were getting into."

"Don't flatter youself, Xavier. I had my boundaries in place, even then. Right now you are not convincing me that you acted purely out of love or even lust. You still find it hard to talk, to work through your emotions, and yet I know you know it is the healthy thing to do. If you don't there will come a point when it is all too much and you will break."

I didn't say I would pursue anything, immediately, I know of the time frame that is required before patients and drs can change the status of their thing. I know how you are, and I respected you enough to not try and change anything that may interfere. Then the call for deep space assignment came in..." Xavier replied as he turned. "What are you trying to say?"

"That you need help with this. You are the captain of this ship we can't run the rist of you imploding in the middle of a mission."

"With you by my side it won't happen... and I will agree to sessions with you."

"It's irregular with being your XO but I guess there is nobody else. We will have to make it more formal." She had not realized that his need to talk was this great.

"I could have video conferening with an outside party. If you feel uncomfortable considering our past, and your position."

"If you prefer that I could certainly recommend someone. But you would have to promise me to make an effort and not try to fool them." Tony said sternly.

"Maybe its best I do it with someone I can't fool, just to be safe?"

"The person I have in mind is my godmother, an admiral who does not take shit from anyone. But is really by the book and may pull you off duty if she doubts you. Your choice." She kept her face impassive. "Not that I am going to go easy on you."

"Ill stick with the devil I know. Also when have you ever been easy with me."

"There will be no flirting either." She warned. "Good I would like to start with a couple of times a week. My or your office would work best I guess."

"I will keep Tal at home." Xavier replied as he smirked. "Besides the flirting was a two way street."

"Excuse me. I have never in my life flirted with you."

"Alright. Then we remember things differently then."

"Xavier, I did not flirt with you, nor will I ever. You are my patient. I would never put your wellbeing at risk. You have to understand that if we are to work together."

Xavier burst into laughter. "Good to see you haven't changed." He sat back. "Agreed."

"Good. Do you have time this afternoon or evening?"

Stopping abruptly. "So am I an emergency case?"

"Excuse me?"

"It being right away, am I being considered an emergency case?"

"Ok I promised honesty. The reply is yes and no." Tony said. "Under normal circumstances I would say no. But we are heading towards a potentially dangerous mission and as I said I do not want to run the risk of you breaking down during a mission so I want to get started as soon as possible."

Xavier said nothing, just remained silent.

"Talk to me." Tony said softly.

Xavier looked to her. "My first command., and its already in jeopardy... what you find out you will have to put on the books."

"No I don't. Unless I really have to. And by acting quickly I don't see it getting that far. You need to blow off steam and get in touch with your emotions. Be a human being."

"Tonight it is then." He leaned back, his eyes drifting off slightly, thinking back to those years ago.

Tony just let it happen. This was exactly what she wanted to see. The mask dropping.

Being visibly uncomfortable at the moment, he looked towards the Commander. "I apologize Commander." He shifted in his seat. Tucked in his shirt again. "These drills that we need to start off, I want them started as soon as we are clear of the starbase."

Tony swallowed a sigh. He had been so close. "Yes sir." She said switching roles.

"Contact Tactical inform them I will personally be going over the shield and weapon systems." He replied as he handed her a padd. "I also want a full inventory of all hand held weapons. Order more from starbase make sure we have enough. Demilitarized zone is usually anything but."

"Yes sir. I will get right on it."

Nodding, "Dismissted Commander." He relaxed a little, his eyes shifting back to previous thoughts.

"Sir." She came to attention and then left.

"Tony." He called out, as she reached the door. "I'm happy to have you here, by my side. I know its been a while. But it is good to have you here."

She smiled. "Thank you. We will figure out how to work well together."