Session 2

Posted on Fri Apr 8th, 2022 @ 12:03am by Captain Xavier Carey & Commander Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels

Mission: Free write
Location: XO office
Timeline: Current, before departure

Xavier walked up to the office, taking a deep breath, he rang the chime. Sky had made him come here, and well, she should have, after all this was for the best right. So he rang the chime, straightened his top and waited. Several thoughts ran through his mind about what he wanted to say first. But he wanted to see how it first played out.

Tony opened the door herself a little weary. That first session had been such a disaster and except for the talk with Sky Xavier and she had been avoiding each other as much as possible. They had different shifts on the bridge. And in between Tony had been working every hour of the day proving to herself and anyone else that she was not slacking in her duties as XO.

"Come in." She said softly.

Xavier nodded and walked in, looked around, and then sat where he sat the first time. He wasn't going to mention the talk he had with her parents or grandfather, unless things came up. "So... I have been hearing about you spending time on the bridge a lot, and getting to know the crew. Highly commendable tony."

"Thank you, sir." She said trying to get over this very awkward stage in their communication and not succeeding very well. "Would not want you to think I am slacking off."

"I have never said such thing tony and you know that." He replied calmly. "Your job on the ship is to be my partner commanding this ship. I do understand with the chief counsellor out of that equation, it leaves a problem."

Tony took a deep breath to ground herself. "Sorry. That was mean. And not how I wanted to start today. We need a fresh start you and I. Have a couple of sessions and put it all behind us before we get to far into the mission."

"I apologize, and it is not how I want to either." Xavier paused a moment. "I... understand where you are coming from. Perhaps, I want that XO part because I need that partner next to me, as this is going to be my first full mission as CO. Being... doubted to begin with from starfleet."

"And I need you as a mentor. I did not have that on the De Ruyter. That captain hated me. Maybe that triggers me as well. I am not as confident as I look. I do want to be there for you as XO though. We should be a team."

"You know I don't hate you. I am overwhelmed, nervous, anxious. I have always been the one in the seat to the right. Now all eyes on me. I mean literally, Starfleet has eyes on me, and waiting on me to fuck up. They have told me that I was the only one available to take command since they were dealing with the bombing at the peace conference. They want me replaced."

"Bullshit." Tony said vehemently. "We won't let that happen. I can pull strings you know. I would never do it for myself, but I will for others. My da has influence even in the navy. And I think he would like you."

"Hes already given his private number to bypass his aides." Xavier admitted

"sorry?"

"Your father has already given me his private number, your grandfather called asking why I was giving you trouble, we had a chat, as well with your father and you mother.... woke up sky and myself while were were in bed."

"Oh god. I ask them for one thing." She groaned. "I am so so sorry. Please ignore my whole stupid family. I thought dad at least respected it."

"He did, he was upset about it, your grandfather did it behind your fathers back." Xavier smiled, "I think I know where you get your willingness to help."

"Totally amazing. He is retired! That man still has too much influence for a retired marine. I know they love me to bits but it is not always easy." She leaned back in her chair. "How come you got my dad's private number. He is usually very careful with it."

"In case i need someone to talk to about the nightmares. He seemed to understand what I was going through without even mentioning it."

"Ah.... yeah he would. Dad had a few nightmare missions of his own. I know he still goes to veterans meetings and sees his therapist on a regular basis. He only trusts one therapist in the whole world." Something dawned on her then which had been in her face all the time but she just could not mention it.

"Shall we try and make a start?"

Xavier relaxed, his tension softened. "I thought you'd never ask."

It made her smile. "How have you been since we last talked? I hope your stress levels haven't been too high."

"Honestly, with a new position, if I am honest. I have been working towards this for my whole career, and against everyones wishes."

"Was that why you changed your mind about our sessions?" She asked gently.

Xavier paused, "Sky told me to."

"I know but that can't be the only reason. If you really deep down did not want to do it, you wouldn't be here."

"I guess you are right." Xavier admitted

"What would you like to talk about? What is important to you right now."

"Being the Captain of this ship, with one of the people Ive trusted most of all by my side as XO."

"Well you have got that." Tony said. "I am doing my utmost to do a good job and I will support you. All I ask in return is that you do your best in these sessions so we can get them out of the way fast."

"Sky would hate me if i disagreed."

"News flash Xavier, this is not about what Sky wants or expects. it is all about you now." She had to take a deep breath to stop herself from becoming annoyed again.

"Ok, fine, I will do my best for myself. I havent been good with counselling you know that. Its why we butted heads in the beginning last time."

"Yup. And we will but heads again until you do this for yourself and come to trust me again, Xavier. You know how stubborn I am."

"Trust is something you don't lose unless you let it happen, You have done nothing to lose it." Xavier assured her. "Subconsciously i think i fear the failure that starfleet is expecting of me. Their issue is i only had one commanding officer, most require minimum of three commanding officers to mentor you. Leonard was to be my second but he lasted mere days."

"Well I haven't had much of a CO to monitor me. My previous one just tormented me. So I am looking to you for guidance. And I guess we will figure it out and learn together."

"I suppose thats on me. I apologize." Xavier replied when he realized what he was doing. "Lets start you off slow, Once we leave, you will be in charge of getting us to our destination. Plus I will have a surprise for you."

"Oh?" Tony could not hide her surprise.

Xavier looked at her. "You are getting us to the demilitarized zone, however there is one thing i want to have you do. You will see when we get to the bridge in the morning."

"You want me to take control of the ship?" It only now sank in. "But... are you doing this so we can have time for your therapy?"

"I'm doing it because as my partner it's your job."

She nodded. "Thank you. But you are distracting us from what you are here for now, you do know that right?"

"Was just correcting something I should have done."

"Huhm." She nodded with a smile. "Sooo back to therapy. On a scale of 1 to 10 how tense are you now?"

"I'd say around 7-8"

"Hm. And how are you sleeping? Any nightmares?"

"No more than usual."

"And what is usual for you?"

"Four hr sleep if I'm lucky."

"And how is the quality of those four hours?" Tony asked gently.

"Restless."

"I don't have to tell you that's not good right?" She said. "If you don't get enough rest it will start to hamper your performance."

"Was never an issue Tony. But im open to suggestions. On the Wellington, we all got accustomed to 18 hr shifts, two hour down times 4 hrs sleep."

She looked him straight in the eye. "In that case it has been an issue for a long time, Xavier. It's not healthy, you may be able to do that for years but eventually it will take a tol on your body. And those nightmares are not helping."

"I know. Truat me"

"So I guess we can concentrate on getting you more rest and trying to take care of the nightmares."

"Easier said than done. Tony. Nothing conventional works, I have tried."

"Does Dr Milton know you have trouble sleeping? And in that case have you tried medication? I am not a huge fan but if used for a short period of time it could help. And you and I are going to talk about that mission combined with other therapeutic tools just like we did the first time we worked together." She patted him on the knee. "Just trust me again."

"Never lost trust in you, just some of myself."

"We will get that trust in yourself returned. Now does the doctor know about your sleep problems?"

"No he doesn't. Don't want him to get any ideas, he is probably the only officer on the ship that can directly relieve me of command."

"Then let's not keep him in the dark and make him an ally. I can write prescriptions myself but I would much rather have the doctor involved for this part."

"You trust me to go myself?"

"Honestly Xavier? Not really. I know how long you have been putting this off. Would you mind if I come along to confer with the doc?"

Sighing, "Shall we go then?"