Memories of mending

Posted on Sat Sep 9th, 2023 @ 5:54am by Lieutenant Sky Jansen-Carey & Commander Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels

Mission: Starship Side Quest
Location: sickbay
Timeline: (Flashback)

After chatting with Tony Sky has headed back to her office to put her feet up and plow through those personnel files that needed updating. As she relaxed her mind wandered back to her own recovery from the events of a few months ago.

{ 4 MONTHS AGO }

Before going into Sky's room Tony looked over the treatment notes of the past hours. Sky was still nearly catatonic. Tony had her placed in a room that had very low lighting and was sparsely furnished as to not give too many stimulants. But a few personal items had been placed there to make sure that she would understand that she was in a safe place once more. Experience had taught her that this was often the best setup to start treatment.

After reading the notes she walked into the room and sat down in the chair next to the bed making sure not to make loud or sudden noises or movements.

Sky was once again sitting in a corner, but this time she’d pulled a chair over to sit in instead of sitting on the hard floor. She’d heard the door open, but hadn’t looked up, her head was resting on her knees and her arms were wrapped around her legs as she huddled up.

"Sky." Tony said softly. "It's Tony."

Sky didn’t respond at first until her focus changed and her eyes tracked towards Tony. “How do I... know it’s you?” Her voice was quiet. “This could all be in my mind.”

"But it isn't. You are back with us on the Resolution and you are in sickbay." Tony said gently. She knew this would take time to build trust. "You are clean and your wounds have been cared for. You are treated with kindness and love."

Sky was still unsure, what if it was a lie? What if Tony wasn’t really here?” She fingered the neural inhibitor she had on that was giving her reduced input from her senses. “You feel...real, but are you?”

"I am, hon. I am very real. Feel free to squeeze me all you like to make sure. You have an inhibitor on to help you manage your surroundings. It is a tool you will need for a little while until you start to feel a bit beter."

Sky paused before slowly moving from her seat, she moved closer to Tony pausing at arms reach to hold out her hand and touch Tony’s hand. “You...you’re really here!” She gave Tony a watery eyed look.

"I am." Tony said. "Would you like a hug or is that too much for now?" She let Sky dictate the pace.

Sky nodded. Right now she needed to know that she was safe, that everything wasn’t an elaborate made up scenario.

Tony slowly moved towards her and with slow movements put her arms around Sky. "I have been so worried about you." She whispered.

Sky closed her eyes as she hugged Tony in return, listening to her friend’s heartbeat was more comforting than anyone would ever understand. “I was all alone! It was so dark...so quiet...I couldn’t see or sense...” she let go of Tony. “I want to go home to Xavier and Tal...I don’t want to be alone in here!!”

"We put you in here as you could take very little stimuli. The inhibitor is helping. But it can't dampen everything. Right now we have to very carefully weigh what will be best for you. I think we can set up a room for you in Xavier's quarters with low light and little stimuli. But there would be some times you are alone. Tell me honestly, do you think you are ready to cope with that? Oh and are you ok with me being your therapist?"

Sky paused to take in what Tony was saying. “I’m okay with you.” She nodded. “I don’t...know what I’m ready for.” She moved to sit down on the end of her bed. “I just...” She paused. “I was so alone!! I don’t want to be alone not anymore!”

"I get that, I really do. Maybe Tal and Xavier can take some time off to be with you the first few days. I don't want you to be in your quarters alone if the panic gets to big for you to handle. Being near loved ones is important. But taking baby steps is also really important."

“Baby!” Sky looked at Tony in alarm. “The twins! Are the twins alright!?”

"Yes they are. Milton is taking care of that. They are fine. But because of that we are using the inhibitor and not giving you too many drugs." Tony assured her.

Sky nodded and let out a calming breath. “I’m not...in a good way right now, am I?” She looked at Tony knowing what Tony would say.

"No you are not. But you will be. It will be hard work, but I have no doubt you will pull through. You are surrounded by people who love you and who will help you heal. And you know I have done this before."

Sky nodded. “I wasn’t...strong enough to fight her.” She pulled he
r knees up and rested her head again. “I couldn’t...I just wanted o
ut of there!”

"You survived. Every survivor is strong, you did what you needed to get out of there. I know you don't believe me now but I believe it." Tony said with conviction.

“I did push her out...of my head that is.” Sky shivered as she remembered the nightmare scenario she had been put through. “I had to let myself drown, in the nightmare she put me through. I had to let myself drown in the blood...” she paused. “It was the only way to escape.”

Tony let her talk. It was a good way to process trauma, most trauma victims did not want to talk so it was a good sign that Sky did. She nodded and listened.

“I don’t want to see Soran! I don’t have to...do I?” Sky looked at Tony worriedly. “It’s just...he was going to kill me, kill us...Tale and I.” She couldn’t get the look in Soran’s eyes out of her mind. “Can I go home? To Xavier and Tal?”
"Of course. You are not a prisoner. We are just trying to keep down for you. Why don't we decide if you can go to your quarters after they visit."

Sky nodded. “I’d like that, it’s lonely in here by myself.”

Tony thought it was a good sign. "How about I get them for you and I wil wait outside while they visit? “

Sky nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, please Tony!”

"I will get them for you."


{ NOW }

Sky smiled to herself as she remembered more fondly now, recovery had been hard but she’d made it through. She was looking forward to being a mum in a couple of months time, that would start a whole new adventure.

{OFF}