Session 1

Posted on Fri Mar 18th, 2022 @ 12:29pm by Captain Xavier Carey & Commander Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels

Mission: Free write
Location: XO's Office
Timeline: Current

Walking up to the Commanders office, Xavier rang the chime. He didn't really care for going into counselling again. But as Captain. He had an obligation to not only himself, and his crew, but now to a growing family.

Tony had tried to make her office a bit more lik a counselling office getting some comfy chairs and some tissues. But she had not had time to decorate so it was a bit more spartan still then she would have liked. And of course Xavier was punctually. He had always been. "Come!" She said.

Walking in. "Old habits Commander?" He asked as he looked around. "Counselling offices are down a few decks."

"Well since we will be doing some counselling here I thought I would make it a little bit more comfortable. Do take a seat, Xavier."

Taking a seat, he leaned back. Not exactly sure how this was going to go.

"It's been a while since we worked together as doctor and patient, Xavier." Tony said as she sat down again. "Everything here is confidential. I promised that I will not put anything on record unless I feel there is a need. If I think you are a danger to yourself or others. I will not share anything we talk about with others, including your wives, except my own supervisor who is bound by the same rules as I am. Now that we have that out of the way I hope you can relax a little."

Xavier paused, "no guarantees tony"

"I know, it is not easy. And it may take some time. Why don't you just sit for a little while. Feet on the ground and let your hands rest on your legs. Breathe deeply in and out. In and out." She kept repeating.

Xavier felt himself tense up, but did as instructed.

Tony hid a smile. "Maybe we will skip this part for now as you seem to be doing exactly the opposite. Why don't you begin by just filling me in what happened since you were last my patient and we will then decide which parts to delve into deeper."

"Well I went back to the wellington and we were five a five year mission into the void. Seemed like routine I didn't have anyone..." He paused for a brief second. "I didn't have anyone to remain behind for so I was fine with it."

"How was that mission for you? Being away for so long? Was it as easy as you thought it would be?"

"No, losing friends, war hing then slowly die, suffer."

"You watched your friends die." Tony said with compassion. "Did you have anybody there for you?"

"The smaller the ship got, the closer the crew got. We.grew close."

"How many survived in the end?"

"A third." Xavier replied, "We were so far out we had to find a cure for a disease that was rampant, we found tal while exploring an underground research facility. Once we got her, things went quicker when it came to finding a cure."

"Did she also give you emotional support? Or did you have others who you could talk to?" Tony asked gently.

"In her own way
"
She just raised an eyebrow and waited for him to say more.

"We lost our counselling staff, so it sometimes meant distraction was only way out. In Time Tal became better with talking, but at the beginning it was a distraction. Not only for myself in the beginning."

'I understand. I also understand she does not have the same needs as humans do. To talk, to work through our emotions and our grief."

"I understand, it's how I've been taught when I was a kid. Feelings, hamper. They take you away from what really matters... the job."

"Do you still feel that way Xavier?"

"There was a time where I felt it wasn't, then it came to it was true, then back to it being ok." Xavier replied as he looked to her. "The yo yo effect."

She nodded. "That's exhaussting isn't it?"

"It is." He paused a moment. "Wxhausting not getting the recognition for things you do, only what your family has done, would be right up there with it."

Tony did not take the bait at all. "So where are you at now? What stage?"

"Now I am doing what I need to do, I got emotional support structures I need in place, and being a captain, means I have to lead by example. If that means getting the help, and talking about whats bothering. In order to grow, then so be it." He admitted. Noticing her dodging the comment he made. "That goes for you too, You have been my sounding board, let me be one for you. I think you deserve it."

"Tell me what you have in place. Because you did not convince me that you did yesterday." Tony said ignoring his question.

Sitting up straight. "You did not convince me that everything was ok either Tony. You want a straight answer from me, start giving me some in return."

"That is not how it works Xavier. It is my job to look after you. Look I can give you my supervisors number and she can explain it to you."

"I think we are done here." Xavier replied. "

"No we are not, captain. You agreed to these sessions and I am holding you to it." her voice turned colder as well.

"I agreed to talk, as xo you are there to support me, the chief medical officer and chief xounsellor has the authority to relieve me of command. Nowif there is nothing else commander. We are finished here. See lt stoffels for your own session. If you wont talk to the co you will have to talk to the counsellor."

"Don't you get it through your thick skull that there is nothing wrong with me. I have no problem talking to the chief counsellor about my feelings. In fact I already have. It is you I can't talk to because you agreed to a few sessions with me and for some reason you are coming back on your word. Scared that I will make you feel emotions you don't want to?"

"Emotions that i had for you for instance... feelings i know i shouldnt have that you couldnt reciprocate due to your profession. That kind of feelings you ask?"

"Feelings you had. Past tense. You have two wives already." She said a little snarky.

Feelings change, but they never go away Tony. You are the one who raught me that. Feelings are still there."

"So are you aiming for a harem now?" Boy she was getting mad.

"I am married. and not in the typical marriage i might add." He paused. "I closed my feelings off because i didnt want to get hurt again. I fell for someone i couldnt have and i fell hard. So i left and closed myself for quite a while before i openes up again."

"And you are happy with two very good women now. And I never led you on, I have always been very clear to you. Don't try to put this on me!"

"Never have. Never will."

"Good then we can either get on with this session or you can walk out the door." Boy she was still pretty mad.

"I will choose the latter."

"Fine."

Standing he headed to the door.

Tony did nothing to stop him from leaving.

End