Triggers

Posted on Thu Jul 14th, 2022 @ 11:25am by Commander Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels

Mission: The Lost Brother
Location: Various
Timeline: after geting answers

"Ren! Stop!" Tony had ran out of sickbay after him appalled at how he had left.

"No" Soran said moving on to the lift.

She cursed under her breath. "Commander! You will talk to me now! My office!" She tried her new command voice.

"Blow it out your ass Tony!" He bark as he got into the lift.

She followed him right in. Her nose close to his. "Is this how you get yourself into trouble every time, Ren? Is this what you are going to teach me as my mentor? How to treat superior officers?" She still had her temper under control though.

"Get the Fuck! Out of my face!" Soran rasped. He turned his back to her and held the lift, he began to shake.

"Or what? You will hit me?"

"You may come from a marine family, but you never commanded fighting personnel! If you had, you'd have let me go. I told the Captain to reprimand me later."

"Don't you dare lay the blame on me, Ren. Remember I have known you longer than today. I came after my friend, you idiot!"

"You really don't get it!" Soran histed. "I am barely in control of myself right now. If you really believe you are safe, you have more faith in me than I do."

There was raw pain in his voice, as memories flash through his head. He leaned on the wall of the lift to ground himself.

"You would never hurt me." She said softly. "Not stepping away. I trust you with my life."

"This is both the sweetest and stupidest thing I've ever seen you do." He said, still facing the wall. "Thank you."

"you are welcome, Ren." She was smart enough not to touch him right now.

He let the lift move to the security deck. "My office is closer."

Tony nodded, leaving him in control of the situation for now and followed.

He moved into his office and sat behind his desk and looked Tony in the eye. He didn't know what to say so he just sat there.

Tony waited for a while. They both needed some time to come down from the climax and gather their thoughts. "That temper of yours is going to get you into trouble one of these days." She then said lightly.

"My temper gets me in trouble all the time, how long have you known me?" He said, "I've been conditioned to be a walking weapon, that conditioning is still there."

"If that was true you would not be allowed to be on active service. You and I did a lot of work years ago. You had a fair amount of control over it then. Don't tell me you let all that hard work go to waste."

"In the last few months I feel it's all falling apart." He sighed. "I've had trouble meditating, I was hoping teaching Sky would help ground me. I guess two people that know almost nothing about me know better. Then the people who should be on my side agreed with them. So yes I'm angry."

"You are angry that I am doing my job." Tony said. "Something you were going to teach me. To look at the facts. And the facts say we have to look at this further before we give a go ahead. But that your control is slipping, that is worrying. We need to do something about it, and you should have told me."

"You can't use what I just told you to justify your or their decisions, it doesn't work that way and you know it." Wagnor stated. "You want to coddle they're ignorance go ahead, but you're on your own. Looks like I am too, I spent most of my life dealing with this shit so it makes no difference to me."

"It's not ignorance Ren. Pix has gifts. If she thinks it is not good for the baby then it is something we have to examine until we find a way that helps you and Sky and is safe for the baby. That is what a responsible XO would do. That does not mean I am suddenly against you. You know I will go through fire for you."

"You should choose your words carefully Tony, I've had comrades literally go through hell with me. Better people than me have laid down their lives for my sorry hide. You couldn't be bothered to ask me a single question before you rejected me back there."

He spoke in a flat tone, he was done with this conversation. He had heard so many excuses for excluding 'his kind' that even legitimate concerns were hard to hear; he was still unconvinced and didn't want to argue anymore. Tony had deeply hurt him.

"Ok maybe I went about it the wrong way. I am not at my best, Ren and I make mistakes. But I never reject you. I made a split second decision and I am going to follow up on it. But if this is how you want to be, fine. I do not have the energy to convince you. If years of having your back are not enough I don't know what to do."

Soran stared at the floor. "When I was released from an Angosian hospital after a tour of duty, I was met by a crowd of protesters telling me to go to hell. I told them I'd already been there and one of them threw a bottle of urine at me!"

This was one of the memories flashing through his head and the years had not dulled it or it's pain.

"I've had to fight for so long it's to lower my guard and when I do everyone gets hurt," he sighed.

"Oh Ren." She could not help herself and threw her arms around him. "You are such an idiot sometimes. You should know by now that I love you dearly. I would never hurt you. This was not me rejecting you. It was me seeing a situation that needed more research. I should have said it differently. I did not know you were this fragile. I'll have your back now, we'll get you back up to speed again."

He didn't like being described this fragile but he couldn't really argue, "Thank you. I'm sure the Captain will be paying me a visit soon."

"hm tell him I said not to be too hard on you. We will talk soon. I want to keep an eye on you. As a friend."

He just nodded