session 1

Posted on Thu Mar 9th, 2023 @ 12:03pm by Lieutenant Sky Jansen-Carey & Commander Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels

Mission: Traitor amongst us?
Location: Tony’s quarters
Timeline: Day after release from sickbay

Soran had gone on duty and Tony was alone in her quarters. It was the day after she was released from sickbay. She still felt very tired all the time, but she also wanted to work on getting back on duty and her mental health needed to be better to return. So she had asked Sky to come over today. Tony did not have the energy to go to Sky's office yet.

Sky arrived at Tony’s quarters, she was glad to have her friend back again. Pressing the chime she stood and waited for an answer.

"The door is open, Sky." Tony yelled. She did not feel like getting up from the couch.

Walking in Sky smiled warmly. “Good morning my friend! How did you sleep?”

"Slept like a log and still feel tired." Tony admitted. "Please get yourself something to drink and a snack if you want."

“I’m fine, I ate like a horse before I left home this morning!” Sky grinned. “If I need anything then I will. It’s not surprising you’re tired, you’ve been through a lot.”

"Yeah. I have no energy what so ever." Tony admitted. "But the fog in my head is gone. Although so much has happened that I don't know where to begin to process it."

“Just take it a step at a time” Sky offered a warm smile. “There’s no rush, you need time to recover so take as much of it as you need.”

"I do want to prove myself to Xavier. I want my job back, Sky. But I need your help. I have never been in this position before, as a patient. I have always been able to look after my own mental health. With a bit of help, but still. This is new and unsettling for me."

“Well you won’t be looking after your own mental health this time” Sky offered a warm smile. “That’s all down to me, so talk to me, tell me how you truly feel. Don’t hold anything back.”

"Where do I start? I am missing pieces from my memory where it comes to the last week or so. I am grieving for those I lost and we are still not sure if granddad and uncle Pete are alive or dead. It's killing me, Sky. I am jumpy, on edge. All classic signs of trauma. I know all the theory I even know what I should be doing to heal myself but I just can't . Don't have the energy."

Sky nodded as she listened. “Okay, So we take this one step at a time. Grief, as you know, takes time. There’s no quick fix for that. As for your grandad and uncle, we can find out that one together. Right now you have Ren, you have Kayleigh, you have those members of your family that are here, and you have all your friends here to help you. You’re not alone in this Tony, we will help you no matter what.”

"I know. But my family, they are so used to me being strong and in control. It is hard for me to be vulnerable. Especially with my mother." She admitted.

“I know” Sky nodded. “When you’re a kid it’s a lot easier, but as an adult you don’t like to show weakness, trust me I’m the same! What you have to remember is that your mother is there for you no matter your age, she’s still your mother. There to listen and offer a shoulder, and a hug when you need it. Don’t be afraid to reach out to her Tony.”

"I am more of a daddy's girl. You would not think so him being a general and all but he is much gentler than mum is. My mum is a career soldier all the way, like grandad. Dad and uncle Pete are different." She took a deep breath. "I can't lose him Sky, my uncle... I can't." She fought back the tears.

“Hey..” Sky offered her friend a brief gentle hug. “We don’t know anything yet, for all we know your granddad & Uncle Pete could be hiding somewhere safe. Don’t let your fears run away with you.”

"No the news was that they were both seriously injured and since then no news from earth, or they are keeping it from me. I hate being this weak."

Sky silently cursed herself, how could she have forgotten that news? “I’ll see what I can do to get you some up-to-date news okay?”

"Thank you." Tony said wiping her eyes. "I checked what the doc has me on. It is a big cocktail of drugs." And she was not a huge fan. "I think there is one kind of anti anxiety meds I could take with it. Would you sign off on it for me? I hate this constant fear in my gut. I jump at everything that goes on around me. It does not help with the exhaustion."

Sky gave it some thought. “Well I’ll need to check it first, with Rutherford already having you on meds I don’t want to be giving you too much.”

"No I know. You know I am not too fond of drugs myself. But this is worse. If it helps me get some energy back. I am willing to try anything."

“Well that all depends on the underlying cause” Sky offered a smile. “Let’s check with Rutherford first, at least then it’ll put my mind at rest that I’m not doing further harm.”

"I understand." Tony leaned back in her seat. "I know I have to talk and process as well."

“You do indeed” Sky nodded. “They do say therapists make the worst patients, I know I do!”

"I have never been in this position. Half yearly talks yes but PTSD and trauma, no. I thought I could handle it all. I know all the tools, it shouldn't be that hard."

“Maybe when working with patients it doesn’t seem that hard, but this is yourself Tony” Sky offered an understanding smile. “It’s different when it’s you.”

"Yes I am beginning to realize." A wan smile. "How often can you meet with me for therapy? I have to prove myself and get back on duty a soon as I am able to."

“I can meet with you as often as it’s needed.” Sky smiled warmly. “Let’s start a couple of times a week, and we can drop back from there as you recover.”

"So under what conditions would you clear me for duty. Just asking." She added quickly. "I am just afraid that if it takes too long Xavier will fire me outright."

Sky offered a more serious look. “For starters you’re not going to be fired, you’re on medical leave. As for the conditions I’d need to be sure you could handle the stress of being back at work.”

"I hope your boyfriend knows that as well." Tony said. "To be honest the way he has treated me has added to my stress."

“I know it hasn’t been easy Tony, Xavier is only doing what he has to do as Commanding Officer.” Sky couldn’t help but feel awkward.

"We both know that is nonsense. There were times I would have been within my rights to pull him off duty and I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. I asked for sick leave, he did not have to relieve me of my duties as first officer, he could have just let me have sick leave. I went by the book..." She stopped. It made her so angry and she felt so betrayed by someone she had trusted.

Sky nodded as she listened. “Xavier is willing to give you a chance Tony, you haven’t lost your position as First Officer. At the time you were not in the right place to be able to fulfil your duties. Once we get you stable, then we can see about getting you your role reinstated.”

"He could have granted me the sick leave even you pleaded for. You were there, Sky. He chose to fire me. And I haven't seen him once in sickbay. Yes I know he is busy, but still."

Sky nodded. “I’ll talk to Xavier, you are right in that he should have come to see you. It may just be that he doesn’t like to see you in pain. He’s a very caring man.”

"It's only going to be harder for him to come now, now he has waited." Tony grumbled. "Sometimes I think men have way too little braincells."

Sky couldn’t help but giggle at that comment. “Maybe I should invite you over for dinner one evening then, he can’t avoid you then.”

"Are you sure? That could be uncomfortable for you." Tony said. "To be honest I am not sure how I will react when I see him again."

“I’ve gotten used to being in the middle of things lately” Sky sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “We can always arrange something else if needs be.”

"Ask him what he wants." Tony said her counselling side taking over, after all Xavier had been her patient as well. "You can't surprise him with it."

“Good idea” Sky smiled and nodded, before giving Tony an embarrassed look as her stomach rattled. “Sorry I only had a small lunch, now this little one is starting second trimester my appetite is going up to match!”

"Let me make you some sandwiches." Tony came to her feet and managed not to groan. "Who is keeping an eye on you now that I am not working? Kay?"

Sky nodded. “More or less, she is the newest Counsellor onboard. Besides I promised Rutherford that I wouldn’t overdo it, I’m keeping that promise. As for you, you don’t have to get me food. You’re supposed to be resting.”

"I hope you do and I hope you are giving Kay a chance. I know she looks like a hyperactive puppy but she does know her stuff."

“Of course I’m giving Kay a chance!” Sky gave Tony a shake of the head and a smile. “Stop worrying, she’ll do just fine.”

"Hmm I had better not hear otherwise." Tony said sternly.

Sky nodded. “We talked, but as you know I’m not allowed to elaborate on what was discussed.”

"well in this case you are the patient so you can share whatever you like. Kay is not allowed to talk about it. We are so not used being on the other side of things."

“I know” Sky nodded. “There was discussion on both sides, you could say we counselled each other. I will be seeing Kay again, I still have... issues from the loss of Tal’s child. Though this little one has given me more positive things to think about.”

"That is good. And you can always talk to me as well, you know that." Tony said.

“I know” Sky smiled. “Now, since we’ve digressed to me instead of you how’s about we call this session to an end for today?”

"Ok, I am tired. But can you come by again tomorrow? And then you will have to dig deeper." Tony smiled.

“Of course I can” Sky nodded as she stood to leave. “I’ll let you get some rest.”

"Thanks. I need it." And she was exhausted already.

Sky nodded. “Rest well my friend.”

{OFF}