When failure hurts the most.

Posted on Thu Jan 9th, 2025 @ 10:55pm by Lieutenant Commander Rutherford (RJ) Milton

Mission: Those who are left behind
Location: Medical Research lab
Timeline: Backposted

ON





Larissa had the baby down; the work of salvaging the data from the nearly destroyed computers was taking time; cross referencing of the common database to reconstruct computer cores from a variety of ships. Like making a puzzle from the same pieces but each packaged in a different box of the same picture.



Luck was kind of her side in that Her Mage had been so overwhelmed with wounded and dying that he kept the long hours giving Larissa the extra time to work on her projects. Good in that aspect yet she missed him dearly, with only short naps in bed together becoming a well earnt respite before it was then back off to separate duties.



=^= Sick Bay to Larissa Milton, Please respond. =^= The voice of a male nurse came over the channel.



Larissa tended to work better while listening to music. When the groove was right, and she feel into a work groove it was particularly distracting when a comm call came through. Larissa practically fell off her chair, it took her a moment to pick up the comm badge, let alone answer.



=^= Yes, you kind of caught me in a work groove. What can I do for you? =^= came her eventual response.



=^= Could you come to Research Labs; we need your...=^= The voice paused. =^= Doc Milton is freaking out; we cannot approach him. Can you come and help? =^=



=^= Say that again? Ar-Jay is freaking out??! That doesn’t sound like him, at least not as much as I know. I’ll have to scoop up Jenny and drop her with the girls in main sickbay before heading to the labs. I can’t exactly leave her here. I’ll be there as quick as I can. Riss out. =^=



With that she was throwing her work jacket on, grabbing one of her nursing ‘snuggle wraps’, in Ops colouring, had in on and Jenny tucked into it before she really knew it.



=^= Larissa Milton to the Research labs. If anyone can get within earshot of Ar-Jay, can you take your comm badge close enough for me. I am on the way to the labs after a detour to the main bay. Maybe if he can at least hear my voice, it might make a difference, for now. =^=



=^= He is in the far corner, just ... sitting on the ground and thinking now. =^= The Nurse reported. =^= I-I do not think he is listening; he looks like the body is there but nobody home from here.=^=



=^= That sounds really bad. I will be inbound in a moment. I just hope I can reach him. Rissa Milton out. =^=







It did not take long to get into sickbay and find the staff ready and waiting for one sleeping baby. After that handoff, her sleeves were up and she sprinted as best as she could to the lab. She got there and had to try and catch her breath, looking up to see if one of the staff was around.



The Male nurse directed her into the lab, when she entered the sight is not what one would expect, glass beakers on the floor shattered, the support mechanisms tossed aside like pushed from one side off the opposite edge. Stools thrown away from counters and the metal shelving topped with the powder and liquid contents a mess on the floor His white lab jacket slightly tattered as though it gave resistance in removal and was torn from the body to be tossed aside.



Milton was off in a corner sitting on the ground, one leg stretched out the right leg bent with his elbow resting on the knee with a right hand rubbing his forehead and just not moving.



“Ar-Jay?! What in the bluddy hell?! It looks like a bomb went off in here? What on earth happened? Are you okay?”



Alone on the edge of a workstation is the Computer monitor untouched; the scree displaying a chemical DNA strand in slowly rotating format with the words '97.875% Match. One small line of the chain of blue a color of red.



Rissa looked at the monitor. She had just been dealing with piecing together files and such. A 97% match in medical terms would be a cause for celebration, yet it had brought her man no joy at all. She came over to his side.



“Ar-Jay. C’mon, It’s Rissa. Please, at least look at me. What on earth is going on here? Those results look promising… yet you look about as bad as when…… I was told about Julian.” She gently put a hand to his shoulder, hoping it would be even a small comfort for him. “Hey, my Mage, please… can you at least look at me?”



Milton glanced in her direction; his eyes open but obviously no one was really home. His gaze acknowledged her but little more than instructed.



"Mermaid..." He seemed surprised. "What are you doing..."



“The staff saw you were rather… distressed and called me. Looking around here, I can see why they called me. What’s going on?”



"They are all going to die." Milton relayed the fact with little emphasis.



“Hang on a second, Sickbay doesn’t look empty….. and it looks like you have a cure right there, and at pretty good odds too. So, something still has to be wrong for you to be like this. Just looking at the lab.. “ She looked around the room. “It looks like a right dummy spit, that doesn’t seem like you. At least, not as far as I know.”



"When is the perfect cure not a cure?" Milton asked casually.



Larissa thought a moment. “When you can’t use it?”



"Therefore, it is useless." Milton admitted coldly. "As a Healer it is a failure as well not being able to help in any way."



Larissa cleared a spot beside her husband, she put her back to the wall & slid down, tucking her legs around her, almost akin to a Mermaid's tail. "I wouldn't say in any way. You have still been able to help, and you tried your best. The situation has held you back. It will hurt, be very uncomfortable and feel like it is wringing at your insides.... it will pass."



Larissa put her closest arm around him. "I'm here, my Mage."



Gravity seemed to be too much for him as Milton leant to rest his head on his wife's shoulder; the mental and physical type exhaustion showing in his face.



"I should be able to save them..."Milton admitted. They had only a few days when I started in good intentions and now, they are going .... killing each other..." He sighed.



She felt him lean in. The weight was there in more than one sense. "Should be able to save them? What's wrong" She asked quietly, giving him a gentle squeeze.



"I Have the formula... I-I just need one isotope." Milton breathed out as he was beaten. "Somewhere I cannot get my hands upon it."



"and with that, it all falls apart. I'm so sorry." Riss left a soft kiss to his forehead.



Had he known Larissa is this soft, or that she is here when he needs her? Not being accustomed to someone soft just being this close. His gut actually had a calmness that was glass a few moments ago. Very soft to the touch; warm to his gut and she is not leaving him.



It seems good to have a wife who obviously loves him, Milton wanted to get more of that feeling she gave off, this is being supported. He could learn to like this.



"I think the planet that has it is only a few days away..." Milton began. "But not under our availability or control."



Larissa felt warmer than usual; a mental type of massage with her just letting him be next to her, he sensed in his gut she understood more than normal. If it is from their connection or from something else is not clear. Just the urge to have tears; not from him but his wife. She held back; or is trying to, to keep a strong face for her.

“Bugga, that sucks. I hear ya, like not having the right part and no access. No matter how hard you want it or fight to get it, you are stuck.” She internalised the sigh, swallowed the image of banging on the glass when Julian went down. It was hard not to see the parallel in what had happened between her and Julian to RJ now, the major difference was who was on what side of the glass and who can help who.

“I’m here. If you want to scream, yell, cry… anything. It helps to let it out. Nobody will see but me.” Larissa looked around, there was no sign of Pix anywhere. She had a feeling that sweet little one would have high tailed it the moment that Rutherford had started to lose his temper and trash the lab. She made a mental note to look for her once this had calmed down.

"Already trashed the place." Milton sighed. "You are enough right now, having that giving of understanding is… amazing." No desire to show anything that he did not really feel. "Just knowing you love me despite my being a failure right now is better than possibly hurting my hand punching something."



“You had a situation fail you.” She lifted his chin to look into his eyes. “YOU are not a failure. We all have things that let us down. You are most certainly NOT a failure. You managed to reach me when I retreated into a dark hole… and you pulled me right back out and helped me with my own problem to boot.” Larissa smiled gently. “Don’t be so harsh on yourself, my sweet Mage.”

She left a gentle and sweet kiss on him, having a feeling that he might have need of it. Larissa took RJ by the shoulders and rearranged how they were sitting a little for him to lean into her and be able to hear her heartbeat.

“You have me, right here. My heart spills over and aches, knowing you hurt so.”

Milton did not speak, he did not have to as he just needed Larissa for the moment as his brain skip over the failures, focused on the present and the soft heartbeat of his beloved lulled him to relax.

He needed to reset for the wounded... those that will need him.


OFF