a talk

Posted on Fri Apr 3rd, 2026 @ 12:30am by Captain Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels & Lieutenant Commander Etan tar-Lexros

Mission: We are sick of this.

Toni did not know Tar-Lexros that well and since she was making the rounds talking to department heads he was next on her schedule. And since he was one of the two she was eyeing for second officer it was even more important to get to know him better. So she had asked him to come to her office today for a chat.

In spite of his growth and experience, Etan was always nervous when a superior officer sent him a summons. Especially considering that the recently-promoted XO seemed to have decided she wanted to know more about him than his professional results, or what Kay told her. They'd interacted so far in a way that he was usually comfortable with, where she was the liaison between himself and other department heads and the Captain. Now, rather than being his advocate based on the facts and data he presented, she was the Captain. Her word was law and her will drove the ship more than the warp core. His direct lead now came from the Doctor, who was also the XO. The new relationships would be difficult and left him feeling lost, unsure of his comfort on the ship so far. Still, they knew each other enough that tar-Lexros knew she didn't bite.

He entered her office quietly, glancing around the Captain's ready room. It still was mostly in Xavier's tastes, and he wondered what she might order for the decor. He stood at the desk and smiled. "Hello, Captain. You requested I come to see you, how can I help?"

Toni smiled at him. "Etan, I am glad you could make it." She gestured over to the little corner with the couch and easy chairs."Please have a seat. Can I get you anything to drink?" She walked to the replicator to get tea herself. "I just wanted to have a little chat, don't worry, it's the same for all department heads."

Etan tried to smile and ease up at Toni's comment, but couldn't quite bring himself to do so. It just wasn't his way when it came to a commanding officer. He'd never fully calmed down with Captain Carey, and the effort to do so at this moment seemed to be one doomed to futility. After all, the Ops chief wasn't great at dealing with change on the best days. Doubly so when that change was a matter of a relationship. 'A little chat' had, as often as not, been code from a supervisor that Etan was due to be transferred or might have an issue with the assignment he wanted - ignoring what it meant in terms of interpersonal relationships. He didn't know what 'a little chat' meant in this case, and couldn't really feel confident that Captain Stoffels would mean any differently.

To the mind of someone who didn't have his same issues, the fact that she mentioned that these meetings were being held with all the department heads would be heartening. If he were able to stop worrying, he'd accept from his Ops training that one-on-one time with the Captain would help build stronger rapport between the division leads and their CO, and help her more effectively set out her command philosophy so that smooth operation of the ship could be better assured. In the current mind of tar-Lexros, it was just an excuse so that whatever she wanted to do didn't look like discrimination against any one person or department. Still, he did basically trust her. She'd never done anything but support him and help him to lead his team when she was available. And he did empathize with her, since they both had suffered mental distress in the past.

So he decided to try and take the blow and roll with it, come what may. He was prepared for the worst possible outcomes, but hopeful that the Captain didn't mean what he thought she meant.

"Um, coffee, please. Black. May I ask if there's anything specific you'd like to discuss, sir?"

Toni's psychiatry training told her the young man was nervous and that was not something she had hoped to achieve with this talk. Most often by the time they reached this rank, officers were over it. She realized that she did not know very much about him, only that Kay liked him very very much. "I really prefer ma'am." She said softly as she handed him his coffee. "Or during informal talks like this, Toni will do." She smiled at him. "You are part of the command team now, and I prefer to treat that team like a small family. The way Dave did it. We are going to be leaning on each other a lot."

Etan nodded as he accepted the coffee with a smile and took a sip, easing visibly as the caffeine hit his system. "Right. My apologies, ma'am. You mentioned that to me while the fusion reactors were under stress before, I'd let that knowledge slip." The quick recall of a stressful situation like that definitely indicated that tar-Lexros was accustomed to trauma and the occasional moment where his memory slipped from his conscious mind, a typical response to chronic anxiety. In that instance, he'd been coached by both Toni and Commander Doctrine, somehow managing to hold himself together while feeling like his chest was going to explode the whole time. Between that and his actions on Lantea, that was how he'd drawn attention and somehow shown people that he had command potential. He took a breath and nodded though, still trying to smile in response to hers. "I'm glad to support you and the rest of the ship, as you know. Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

It was obvious that even though she was trying to be informal, Etan was bound to the rules and regulations. That was where he was most comfortable. Every decision he'd made where he'd had to go outside the regs or standards were the decisions he doubted most - and the ones that everyone was proud of him for making. It made him uncomfortable to realize he was so out-of-step, but he was glad he could help the people around him, and there was a gradual development of his confidence. When he'd come aboard, he'd never have dared to even ask the permission to speak - now, at least, he was able to speak his mind within limitations.

"Yes, of course. In this office you can say anything to me. And I will always listen and digest what you say." She smiled. "Can't promise I will always follow your advice as I can be pretty stubborn as well."

Etan nodded at her with his awkward smile still holding. "Thank you, ma'am. I understand that you want to be informal in your relationship to the command staff, and I respect your confidence in me and the other officers aboard. With regard to Captain Carey's policy on that, I was often exempted from the familial arrangements, and I would rather be so with you as well, when we're on-duty. I understand that my ongoing relationship with First Lieutenant London means that we have further connections when off-duty. But when we're on duty, I prefer to maintain a professional atmosphere and distance. My education and experience in Starfleet personnel standards, though admittedly limited, has borne out that ships which maintain a 'family' atmosphere are less functional in crisis situations, because the interpersonal connections and fears override the ability to perform one's duty. It's why the regulations strongly suggest against fraternization and multiple family members serving aboard ships with conflict or high-pressure missions."

He closed his eyes again, focusing his thoughts, and looking at her. "I am not suggesting that you act in a way which feels unnatural, ma'am, or attempting to dictate your command style. I apologize if what I said sounded like I was, you know that I sometimes have a challenge expressing nuance clearly. But I would strongly prefer if we were primarily businesslike while on duty. And I apologize if that request endangers our friendship while off duty, ma'am."

~Right~ Toni thought and took a moment to gather her thoughts. She did not want to strike the wrong tone with this complicated young man. "I appreciate you telling me all this, that took guts. And it was the first time he acknowledged there was a relationship with Kay. That pleased her as she knew that Kay had been very lonely. "I appreciate that, commander. Believe it or not, it has always been my policy to make my career on my own terms and not my family's. Personally I see a difference between fraternization and having a relaxed command structure. We must also have read different research papers, as the ones I read state of better performance records when a captain is liked instead of feared. And a stronger bond means genuinely wanting to do anything to help your fellow crew mates." She exhaled reigning herself back from scaring off Etan. "But people are different. If that does not work for you, please feel free to be formal with me. I don't mind. And I don't think you run the risk of having dinner with me and Kay at the moment as she is currently not talking to me."

Etan nodded, and was confused at her comment about Kay. He hadn't heard about the conflict between them. Still, he spoke quietly. "When we're off-duty, ma'am, I'd be open to hearing about whatever it is that's causing you and Kay to have a conflict. I'm not trained like she or Lieutenant Jansen-Carey, but I'm open to hearing what the conflict is." He nodded at her comment about the papers and he smiled. "That's entirely possible. I respect that I lean toward paranoia - I was focused on crisis situations when the Cannonball was assigned to the Klingon Neutral Zone. But I do respect having a desire to see the officers of the ship develop and move forward in their careers, absolutely."

"I appreciate that, commander." Toni said. "But you would have to ask her as I have no idea what I have done that is so horrible. And I think that you and I will get along just fine on duty."

Etan nodded with a smile. "Oh, without a doubt, Captain. And, you have my word, ma'am, that I'll make sure the same level of reporting is available to Doctor Rutherford as I ensured you had available." He shrugged following that comment. "As far as the conflict between you and Kay -" he thought for a moment. "- I'm not the best at being circumspect. I'll see if I can speak to Kay about the matter."

"I appreciate that, Ethan." Toni was pleasantly surprised at his offer. "I would love to sort this out."