living hell

Posted on Sat Oct 15th, 2022 @ 12:24pm by Captain Xavier Carey & Commander Antonia 'Tony" Stoffels
Edited on on Sat Oct 15th, 2022 @ 12:26pm

Mission: The Lost Brother
Location: sickbay
Timeline: after nick post

Nick's head felt like it was filled with cotton and he could not escape the muzziness and he could not think straight. But he heard some familiar music and that was like an anchor to bring him back to conciousness. Yet to him it felt like hours before he opened his eyes to slits.

Soran stop playing his harmonica and looked over at him.
"I see you're waking up, that's good. Stay in bed please, I told them not to restrain you. We need to talk."

"Ren? Wha...." He slurred his speech because of the drugs.

"Yes Nick, it's me. Do you know where you are and how you got here?"

"No.. don't know...Ren please kill me." Tears leaked from his eyes.

"No Nick," Soran said softly. "Now you want to die?"

"Yes, I can't go on."

"I don't believe you want to die," He said. I think you just want the pain to end. If I could take it away I would."

"I am an utter failure. Please Ren. I know you know how to kill." He pleaded.

"You may have failed but you're not a failure." Soran said. "Besides I have enough blood on my hands already. You are better than the thoses who hurt you and I will not let them win. Your life has been filled with love and you've grown into such a compassionate person, that you were blind to ugly side of life. I'm sorry about what happened to you, you are better than this."

He started to cry again, hopeless sobs.

The Angosian silently got up and embraced the youngman. "Let it out brother, I'm here."

It took minutes before he finally calmed a little. He looked frail and exhausted. "I can't do it anymore, Ren." He sniffled. "Will you tell the lady that I am sorry. And did I dream that Tony was here?'

"You'll need to apologize to counselor Jensen yourself. As for Tony, from what I saw I'm fairly sure you broke her nose. I'll let you two figure that out." He said simply, "You've hurt people tonight both physically and emotionally. Now you must apologize, fix what you can and move on."

"Oh god." He moaned. "I never meant to hurt women. But I am serious Ren, I don't want to go on. There is no place for me in this world."

"You've got a hard road ahead and people who love you will help find your way," Soran said.

'No they won't. They despise me." He said softly.

"Your mother and sister love you more than life itself," he said. "They want you to be at peace and happy, if you can't find that in the Marines look elsewhere. You have to do what is right for you who can't see that isn't worth your time.. "I've wanted to die too, just to stop the pain. I learned to work through the pain so that I can help others you can too."

'I can't." He started to hyperventilate. " I can't. He wouldn't." Then he clammed up again.

"Breath Nick," Soran said. "I believe you're talking about your grandfather, That stubborn old man thinks just because he's worn a uniform for decades, he can tell his family what do. He's wrong, you have a right to decide your own path. He tries to tell you different, I'll tell him to kick rock again."

Nick wiped his tears away. "I am his only grandson. I have to be the one to keep the family tradition going. There is no-one else. Mum doesn't count."

Soran can feel his anger rising, how could that old man put such a burden on this boy. "Talk to your mother and your sister, maybe you should talk to your mother first. Tony might be a little upset about what happened I'll talk to her."

"No, I can't!" His voice rose. "Don't you see there is no way out. They only pretend to understand me. But I can't." Tears threatened to come. "And I am a coward as well."

"You need to get some sleep, when you wake I'll bring your mother and I'll help you explain." He said.

"No, don't." Nick started to sit up again very agitated and scared.

"It's alright Nick, I’m going to stay with you." Soran said. "You need rest things will look better in the morning."

It seemed to calm him a little.

"Get some sleep I don't know what the nurse gave you, but you're probably going to wake up with a hangover." He smiled. Worse than the time Melor and Tasin spiked your punch with bloodwine."

Soran smiled at the memory, he'd had to referee between Tony and the boys when she found out what they did.

Nick had to smile at that but he was getting sleepy so the nurses probably had given him more drugs. "I thought she was going to kill them that time."

"I talked Tony out of it, A murder rap would have been terrible her for career." He joked. "Now your going to close your eyes and I'm going to play music until you fall sleep."

He spoke with a quiet confidence as he dimmed the lights.

"Thank you Ren." Nick said as he closed his eyes.

He played 'The Soldier's Lullaby.' the same tune he had played for the wounded soldiers during the Talsion War. The look seen in Nick's eyes was born he'd seen before, on the faces of frightened children who'd been armed and told to attack people they'd never met. That was war and this boy didn't need to see anymore of it. Slowly Nick's eyes closed completely and drifted off to sleep.